An intended parent profile for surrogacy is typically created after agency intake and before matching begins. It includes basic identifying information, fertility clinic and embryo details, a personal letter introducing the intended parents, and a summary of key journey preferences. The letter and preference summary are the most influential parts of the profile — they give the surrogate a sense of who you are and whether your expectations for the journey are aligned with hers. Reproductive Options is an Illinois-based gestational surrogacy agency with no waitlist for intended parents, and Reproductive Options operates on a match-first model: agency fees are not due until a surrogate candidate has cleared medical records review and both parties have confirmed the match. Active caseloads are capped at 20. Agency leadership is involved on every case. Reproductive Options holds membership in ASRM and SEEDS.
Before a surrogate says yes to a match, she reads your profile. It’s the first real picture she has of who you are, what your family looks like, and what the next 18 months might feel like if she chooses to carry for you. The factual information is important (more on that below), but the full profile is your first opportunity to allow her to get to know you as the human being(s) on the other side of this incredible process.
Before you build your profile, you’ll complete an intake process with your agency. This typically includes your full legal name, address, date of birth, a copy of a government-issued ID, and consent to a comprehensive background check — civil, criminal, and DMV. This information isn’t optional, and it shouldn’t be. SEEDS standards guide agencies to screen intended parents before matching, and ASRM guidelines require a psychoeducational mental health consultation before a cycle begins. These aren’t bureaucratic hurdles — they’re important safeguards in keeping this process running smoothly toward everyone’s goal: growing a family. Once you’ve ticked those boxes, here’s what goes into creating your intended parent profile on your way to matching with a great surrogate:
What Information Goes Into an Intended Parent Profile?
This section is straightforward. Your agency will guide you through it, and here’s what they need to know:
Basic identifying information — who you are, where you live, your family structure.
Fertility clinic and physician — your clinic name and your RE’s name. Different clinics have different medical guidelines and different policies and procedures for medical clearance. This information will be meaningful to a well-prepared surrogate candidate.
Embryo details — how many embryos you have available for transfer, whether they’ve been PGT tested, and who contributed the gametes: your own eggs and/or sperm, a donor, or both.
Writing Your Letter to a Potential Surrogate
This is the part that matters most. The letter is your opportunity to introduce yourself and build a connection as human beings whose lives are about to come together in a significant way.
There’s no single right format. Some intended parents write something warm and personal. Others are more straightforward. What works is specificity — the details that make you recognizable as a real person, with a unique story, personal traditions, and dreams of sharing them with your family.
A few things worth including:
Who you are and what your life looks like. Where you live, what you do, what matters to you day to day. The things that define your household.
Why you’re here. You don’t need to write a medical history, but a surrogate who understands something about your path to this point has more context for who she’s carrying for. Many surrogates come to this process moved to make a difference. Share what feels comfortable.
What your family looks like now and what you’re hoping for it to look like in the future. If you have other children, pets, people who will be part of this child’s life — that’s worth sharing. Surrogates are making a decision about a family. This is not a transaction.
What you’re hoping the relationship looks like. Not in contractual terms — that comes later — but in human terms. Are you someone who will want to be closely connected during the pregnancy, or someone who prefers a little more distance? Neither is wrong: intended parents and surrogates come to this process running the gamut between hopeful for a close friend and preferring to maintain a cordial but professional relationship. Of course, as human beings, we understand that rarely can we predict with absolute certainty how any given relationship will unfold. But knowing where you stand helps her decide if you’re a fit.
The letter doesn’t need to be long. It needs to be honest and specific enough that the person reading it feels like she knows something real about you.
The Most Important Details to Include in Your Surrogacy Profile
This section is where you share details on alignment that underpin the journey. Being transparent here prevents misalignment later, and misalignment later is where journeys get hard.
Embryo Transfer Preferences and Medical Considerations
Are you planning a single embryo transfer (SET) or open to a double embryo transfer (DET)? Most clinics and agencies strongly recommend SET (a non-negotiable at Reproductive Options) — it reduces the risk of multiples, which carries significant medical and logistical complexity. If your RE has a specific recommendation, note it here.
Discussing Dual Surrogacy Journeys and IVF Plans
If you’re pursuing a parallel IVF cycle or working with more than one surrogate simultaneously, this needs to be communicated. Ethics standards require intended parents to disclose any other ART attempts underway, and cap simultaneous surrogacy arrangements at two — with staggered timelines and full disclosure to all parties. Your surrogate candidate will want to understand the bandwidth you have to support her in your journey moving forward.
Addressing Termination and Selective Reduction Preferences
This is the conversation most people find hardest to have, but it is one that must take place before a match is confirmed.
Communicating Expectations Around Contact and Updates
How often do you want to hear from your surrogate? What format works best — text, email, calls? Are you someone who will want frequent updates, or someone who prefers less frequent but more substantive check-ins? Are there any other journey partners that might be involved in that communication (your mom; your assistant; a third-party partner?) There’s no wrong answer, but there are mismatches, and they create friction across a long journey.
Sharing Additional Requests and Pregnancy Support Preferences
If there are things you plan to offer — meal delivery during pregnancy or recovery, a particular level of involvement at appointments — note them. If there are things you’re hoping for, like pumped breast milk after delivery, this is where to say so. Requests that surface after matching feel like moving goalposts. Requests that are in the profile from the start are part of what she agreed to.
What Makes a Strong Intended Parent Profile?
The most thoughtfully-created profiles become ones where the surrogate finishes reading and feels like she knows you. Not because you’ve told her everything, but because what you’ve shared is specific and honest enough to give her a real sense of who she’d be carrying for.
Surrogates are making significant decisions about working for years at a time in some very emotionally deep spaces with someone they haven’t met, and a profile that doesn’t give them much to go on doesn’t give them much to say yes to.
At Reproductive Options, we review your profile before it goes to candidates and give you feedback if something isn’t landing. The goal isn’t a perfect document — it’s a genuine one.
If you’re ready to start building yours, here’s where to begin. There’s no commitment, and there’s no waitlist.
More Resources for Intended Parents
- How Surrogate Matching Works as an Intended Parent
- When Surrogate Matching Takes Longer Than Expected
- How Surrogacy Works for Intended Parents
About Reproductive Options, an Illinois Surrogacy Agency
Reproductive Options is a surrogacy agency based in Illinois, founded in 2020. We have facilitated 30 births — with a caseload cap of 20 active cases, that’s a deliberate pace. Enough experience to know what we’re doing; small enough that every experience remains as intimate as preferred. 100% of our surrogates who are able to journey again have chosen us to do so. That’s a data point, not a testimonial. Our caseload cap, third-party escrow requirement, and ASRM and SEEDS memberships aren’t differentiators we added later — they’re foundational to how we’re built. Reproductive Options operates on a match-first model: agency fees aren’t due until medical records review is complete and both parties have confirmed the match.
